Man.., these state bifercation has blown the wits off me. I dont feel anything less than 5vi class se tez, I myself dont know how many states in does India as such have now. The only thing at risk here, if not anything else is the software called SAP (Software of Andhra Pradesh). What would happend to the 40K engineers who come out freshers with 3 working years experience from the engineering colleges there ?
After the split in the north, the split has finally re-hit the south before being hit a few decades. The software engineer in me, still cries for SAP. Should we split the company itself into SRS (Software of Rayalseema) and SAT (Software at Telengana) and so on ? If not anything else, I am also concerned about the desis settled in the US of A, They were asked to learn the language Telugu even before trying their hands on Microsoft of Java products. I hope they dont ask for a re-partition at onsite based on the location that they belong to now. Cheez! Take a break.
The cause of all this ? Mr. KCR, on his live-to-diet hunger strike, resulted in having a different state for as less as 7 lakhs people. Wow, If its only 7 lakhs that required to have a state, we may as well have as many states that we want in our own very metopolitan cities. i.e CST State, Thane State and Vasai State (in Mumbai) or Maybe a BTM Layout State, Malleshwaram State and of course, Vidhana Soudha state (i.e coz of few lakhs visiting the office everyday).
All in all, I am working my way out! Thats towards re-naming india. I am going on a sub-way hunger strike, I shall not eat anything else than Subs for having my country of states have a peculiar name from india to UUSI (Un-united states of India) or Should i also call it as United States of East ?
Whatever the outcome is, I am damn sure that, just like KCR, i am gonna shed some weight and you're contribution of a sub, would help me only stronger for the cause.!! Join me in saying, WE WANT UNITED STATES OF INDIA, JAI HO SUB!!
Commercialization, yet again...
Where was i this long? i'd just gone missing., so missing that i even googled to search myself, the reply came back saying.., no results found.... Cheez.!!
I was working and working and working, like fasting between meals :) Off late, i had a terrific project, and this was OUT OF THE BOX thinking. hmm.. you'd seem to be quite amazed, out of the box thinking.., and its been assigned to this moron ? huh..., stop that lousy thoughts, its not gonna get you or me anywhere.
The project came from a mega millionaire organization. The organization which has a wood and log behind it and is preceded with many like holly, bolly, kolly, tolly and many more which i am not even aware of. The post recession, when the actors and actresses started charging less for movies and films, came another dilemma how would you earn a bit (a lot) more.
As i'd always been working as a consultant, they approached me. Consultants have a unique mind, quite too much for the OUT OF THE BOX thinking., and then as it is, we were talking about an idiot box, but this time with an unique and strange idea. I was thrown open the entire ocean to think, but at the end of it all, all they needed was money.
Me, being an Internet freak, and even more into watching cricket., decided to implement an idea called the ticker on the movie screens... huh, anything great ?? nope, not at all. But, the copy cat me had an idea of google's ad sense behind the back of my mind. Strangely, but not amazingly, Aamir was my mentor, and hence decided to pick one of his movie Ghajini, for a start. Being a pilot project, its implementation would have had me just going ahead testing the idea..., so then, i started with analysis and requirement gathering and when almost done with the waterfall model design, decided to implement my project. If not for the entire movie, would have the ticker running for the highlighted scenes of the movies. Luckily, to grab people's attention to the pilot project, I'd also included some puppet shows, political statements & whatever i could do it make it a success.
This is how it went... I'd a database of all the advertisements available in the market and let my program pickup the advertisement based on the scene.
Scene 1 : Aamir on the fight with Ghajini's gundaas, the ticker shows " Gandhiji's Anti violence message..."
Marvayega mera ad sense.. :), But still did not give up hope....
Scene 2: Aamir gets down from his private jet and there's a little ticker rolling down the screen saying... "When was the last time, that you did something for the first time... Emirates, Keep Flying"
Good... Its working to an extent...
I did not want to watch the entire movie, because, i'd already spoiled my new year day, going for this movie. Hence, put the movie on a Fast Fwd mode, but amazingly, my code worked in the fast forward mode too... JLM (Just Like Me).
Scene 3: When Asin says, "There is no network coverage, Dabba phone hai...." and the advertisement below pops... " For ~hello~ better ~hello~ network coverage ~hello~, Switch to~hello~ Tata Indicom". Aamir wouldn't have been too amused with it, nor Aircel was, That's because, they'd close relations with "AIR"
Scene 4: The police officer locates Aamir's place to find the map of mumbai... Gosh, this is where google really showed its skills.... "TRY GOOGLE MAPS, Easy and Convenient..." it said. I was speechless, Who wont be ?
Scene 5: Asin is hiding in her new house and the gundaas searching for her all around and just about to leave the house when Asin's mobile rings.... and the bottom of the screen pops.. "Choose your Ringtone Wisely... The Zoo Zoo feeding the crocodiles.... " that was a killer one.. ;)
In between all these scenes., there was ads of Red Label, Domex, Benz, Converting autos to CNG etc being played...., but the last of the least was...
When Aamir, hits our Ghajini with the Iron Rod.... The Message displayed.... " Natraj Pencils.... Aur yeh raha Sixer...., out of the boundary " followed by Sachin saying.... " Boost is the secret of my energy...... Dhoni Joins along..... O U R - E N E R G Y "
Till my project gets approved...!
Luv,
Dhinu!
I was working and working and working, like fasting between meals :) Off late, i had a terrific project, and this was OUT OF THE BOX thinking. hmm.. you'd seem to be quite amazed, out of the box thinking.., and its been assigned to this moron ? huh..., stop that lousy thoughts, its not gonna get you or me anywhere.
The project came from a mega millionaire organization. The organization which has a wood and log behind it and is preceded with many like holly, bolly, kolly, tolly and many more which i am not even aware of. The post recession, when the actors and actresses started charging less for movies and films, came another dilemma how would you earn a bit (a lot) more.
As i'd always been working as a consultant, they approached me. Consultants have a unique mind, quite too much for the OUT OF THE BOX thinking., and then as it is, we were talking about an idiot box, but this time with an unique and strange idea. I was thrown open the entire ocean to think, but at the end of it all, all they needed was money.
Me, being an Internet freak, and even more into watching cricket., decided to implement an idea called the ticker on the movie screens... huh, anything great ?? nope, not at all. But, the copy cat me had an idea of google's ad sense behind the back of my mind. Strangely, but not amazingly, Aamir was my mentor, and hence decided to pick one of his movie Ghajini, for a start. Being a pilot project, its implementation would have had me just going ahead testing the idea..., so then, i started with analysis and requirement gathering and when almost done with the waterfall model design, decided to implement my project. If not for the entire movie, would have the ticker running for the highlighted scenes of the movies. Luckily, to grab people's attention to the pilot project, I'd also included some puppet shows, political statements & whatever i could do it make it a success.
This is how it went... I'd a database of all the advertisements available in the market and let my program pickup the advertisement based on the scene.
Scene 1 : Aamir on the fight with Ghajini's gundaas, the ticker shows " Gandhiji's Anti violence message..."
Marvayega mera ad sense.. :), But still did not give up hope....
Scene 2: Aamir gets down from his private jet and there's a little ticker rolling down the screen saying... "When was the last time, that you did something for the first time... Emirates, Keep Flying"
Good... Its working to an extent...
I did not want to watch the entire movie, because, i'd already spoiled my new year day, going for this movie. Hence, put the movie on a Fast Fwd mode, but amazingly, my code worked in the fast forward mode too... JLM (Just Like Me).
Scene 3: When Asin says, "There is no network coverage, Dabba phone hai...." and the advertisement below pops... " For ~hello~ better ~hello~ network coverage ~hello~, Switch to~hello~ Tata Indicom". Aamir wouldn't have been too amused with it, nor Aircel was, That's because, they'd close relations with "AIR"
Scene 4: The police officer locates Aamir's place to find the map of mumbai... Gosh, this is where google really showed its skills.... "TRY GOOGLE MAPS, Easy and Convenient..." it said. I was speechless, Who wont be ?
Scene 5: Asin is hiding in her new house and the gundaas searching for her all around and just about to leave the house when Asin's mobile rings.... and the bottom of the screen pops.. "Choose your Ringtone Wisely... The Zoo Zoo feeding the crocodiles.... " that was a killer one.. ;)
In between all these scenes., there was ads of Red Label, Domex, Benz, Converting autos to CNG etc being played...., but the last of the least was...
When Aamir, hits our Ghajini with the Iron Rod.... The Message displayed.... " Natraj Pencils.... Aur yeh raha Sixer...., out of the boundary " followed by Sachin saying.... " Boost is the secret of my energy...... Dhoni Joins along..... O U R - E N E R G Y "
Till my project gets approved...!
Luv,
Dhinu!
The Unconditional "WHERE" clause..!
Disclaimer :- All readers reading this blog are suggested to have a crash course on SQL. Contact SQL Star, Ref : dineshdiwakar-blog for a 75% discount.!!
It blew me off.. i never knew the analaytic me would be such puffed when it comes to writing a simple silly query of my life.. The query was supposed to look like this..
Q:> select top 1 from ALL_BRIDES_DB
But i made some joins viz...
INNER JOIN :
Q:> inner joined my family,
OUTER JOIN:
Q:> agreed to outer join my friends.
SELF JOIN:
Q:> agreed to SELF JOIN TO THE BRIDES FAMILY, SELF UNJOIN from boose, smoke, and mouth watching :'( From neta to abi neta, who doesn't make promises ?
CROSS JOIN:
Q:> cross joined again to tell the world, i am straight (NOT Sec 377 Comptabile)...
and there was a Where condition.... (as suggested by me).
Q:> Where BRIDESDADS_BANK_AC > SLUMDOG_MILLIONAIRE
Q:> AND CAR_OF_BRIDE atleast a ('BMW','HONDA') OR NOTHING LESS THAN A ('SUV')
Q:> AND KG_OF_GOLD > Count(Sachin's Century) in kgs.
When this query was executed, As expected, the results were to be counted on the fingers, But there was a subquery written by the result achieved...
Q:> SELECT GROOM WHOSE FATHER IS ('BIRLA','TATA','RELIANCE','D GANG',
..... AND THE LIST WENT ON...
But unlike other query editors, It gave a list of 'CLOSE MATCHES', those brides were all in ghoongat, cover their head with saree tip...
But now that i had almost found an answer to my reply to the TOP 1 BRIDE MINUS THE BANK BALANCES AND THE CAR, were there many more conditions added by the INNER JOINED PEOPLE....
a) Groom's Mother - She should be able to do household work too
Q:> AND BRIDE ALSO 'A DIGNIFIED COOK'
b) Groom's 1 Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS BOTH HER PARENTS
c) Groom's 2nd Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS A GOVERNMENT JOB
That saga went on as they were sitting in a circle and passed many rounds of conditions, while i walked out...
I was sure that in this digital age, where marriages are not made in heaven, but happens over the internet, I was finding it even difficult to do a peer to peer network connection.... Blah.., the query that i executed would have not only returned ZERO results, but would also returned an error message... "TOO MANY CONDITIONS.... Your Query has been suspended..."
In the meantime, my friends has already discussed that, he is a idiot programmer., doesn't know to fine tune his query.! Such a loser..
On the other hand, i was already preparing another query..
Q:> Select OPTIONS from EASY_SUICIDE
Q:> WHERE PAINFUL = NULL
Till I find another query,
Luv,
Dhinu
It blew me off.. i never knew the analaytic me would be such puffed when it comes to writing a simple silly query of my life.. The query was supposed to look like this..
Q:> select top 1 from ALL_BRIDES_DB
But i made some joins viz...
INNER JOIN :
Q:> inner joined my family,
OUTER JOIN:
Q:> agreed to outer join my friends.
SELF JOIN:
Q:> agreed to SELF JOIN TO THE BRIDES FAMILY, SELF UNJOIN from boose, smoke, and mouth watching :'( From neta to abi neta, who doesn't make promises ?
CROSS JOIN:
Q:> cross joined again to tell the world, i am straight (NOT Sec 377 Comptabile)...
and there was a Where condition.... (as suggested by me).
Q:> Where BRIDESDADS_BANK_AC > SLUMDOG_MILLIONAIRE
Q:> AND CAR_OF_BRIDE atleast a ('BMW','HONDA') OR NOTHING LESS THAN A ('SUV')
Q:> AND KG_OF_GOLD > Count(Sachin's Century) in kgs.
When this query was executed, As expected, the results were to be counted on the fingers, But there was a subquery written by the result achieved...
Q:> SELECT GROOM WHOSE FATHER IS ('BIRLA','TATA','RELIANCE','D GANG',
..... AND THE LIST WENT ON...
But unlike other query editors, It gave a list of 'CLOSE MATCHES', those brides were all in ghoongat, cover their head with saree tip...
But now that i had almost found an answer to my reply to the TOP 1 BRIDE MINUS THE BANK BALANCES AND THE CAR, were there many more conditions added by the INNER JOINED PEOPLE....
a) Groom's Mother - She should be able to do household work too
Q:> AND BRIDE ALSO 'A DIGNIFIED COOK'
b) Groom's 1 Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS BOTH HER PARENTS
c) Groom's 2nd Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS A GOVERNMENT JOB
That saga went on as they were sitting in a circle and passed many rounds of conditions, while i walked out...
I was sure that in this digital age, where marriages are not made in heaven, but happens over the internet, I was finding it even difficult to do a peer to peer network connection.... Blah.., the query that i executed would have not only returned ZERO results, but would also returned an error message... "TOO MANY CONDITIONS.... Your Query has been suspended..."
In the meantime, my friends has already discussed that, he is a idiot programmer., doesn't know to fine tune his query.! Such a loser..
On the other hand, i was already preparing another query..
Q:> Select OPTIONS from EASY_SUICIDE
Q:> WHERE PAINFUL = NULL
Till I find another query,
Luv,
Dhinu
Color Dilemma!!
These Colors are so great, it help visualise. I can only relate to blood and danger when it comes to the color red and green to nature and pakistani flag color. The firm that i work says, nothing here has got shades of grey, everything is either black or white! Thankfully, i am no colour blind too.
Just incase, you happend to list down your favourite colors. Black and White had a prejudice. i'm seriously sick of the differentiation. Last week, I was chatting with one of my friend and he said, he hates MONDAY, i asked him, who loves it anyways, asks the students too, they too wont like it unless its a public holiday! My ABCD (Amercian born confused Desi's) are even more smarter, they'd actually made a racial remark by hating mondays and also by calling the dark ones there as a MONDAY!.
Cool, Just in case, if this was nothing, I was differentiated in my own country, here its not black and white, but its north and south. Unfortunately, All southies are Madrasis, regardless of being from Kerala, Karnataka, AP or Tamil Nadu. I read comments of few fellow bloggers, who also divided the cricket team into south and north. Wow, Racism at its best, But between them too, I hung out in the shades of grey. I am a mumbaikar, I am south indian for the northies and Northy for the southies. I feel like our own DHOBI KA KUTTA.. NA GHAR KA... NA GHAT KA.
In between all these, i proposed to my GF. Shoot, it all came trembling down, when she had to speak about color too..., Seems like, its not the issue with her, but with her dad. Her dad wants a white groom! aah.., he wants a white groom, not a fair one, I'm still in for it i thought!. This issue had to be fixed, did not seem to be quite be a challenge anyways. That is because, I'd seen John Abraham's Ad for Garnier to become WHITE, and unintentionally in a BLACK squeeze tube.
Down the line, I seen many changes in me. Everything in the process of getting to the WHITE from the BLACK. The Deo Spray, The Pen from Black to Blue. Not to tell about the drinks that i used to have., That too changed from the likes of DSP Blacks and Whisky to WHITE RUM, GINN and VODKA (if not white, they looked plain) The Black Tea N Black Coffee (my favourite) to the regular milked tea and coffee :(, All for a cause..!
Man, the only irony that stands still at the moment is..., I'm only in the shades of grey, Nothing ever changed from the black to white, in the meantime, the GF found a white for herself and the after effects of transformation left me totally grey.
See ya!!
Luv,
Dhinu!
Just incase, you happend to list down your favourite colors. Black and White had a prejudice. i'm seriously sick of the differentiation. Last week, I was chatting with one of my friend and he said, he hates MONDAY, i asked him, who loves it anyways, asks the students too, they too wont like it unless its a public holiday! My ABCD (Amercian born confused Desi's) are even more smarter, they'd actually made a racial remark by hating mondays and also by calling the dark ones there as a MONDAY!.
Cool, Just in case, if this was nothing, I was differentiated in my own country, here its not black and white, but its north and south. Unfortunately, All southies are Madrasis, regardless of being from Kerala, Karnataka, AP or Tamil Nadu. I read comments of few fellow bloggers, who also divided the cricket team into south and north. Wow, Racism at its best, But between them too, I hung out in the shades of grey. I am a mumbaikar, I am south indian for the northies and Northy for the southies. I feel like our own DHOBI KA KUTTA.. NA GHAR KA... NA GHAT KA.
In between all these, i proposed to my GF. Shoot, it all came trembling down, when she had to speak about color too..., Seems like, its not the issue with her, but with her dad. Her dad wants a white groom! aah.., he wants a white groom, not a fair one, I'm still in for it i thought!. This issue had to be fixed, did not seem to be quite be a challenge anyways. That is because, I'd seen John Abraham's Ad for Garnier to become WHITE, and unintentionally in a BLACK squeeze tube.
Down the line, I seen many changes in me. Everything in the process of getting to the WHITE from the BLACK. The Deo Spray, The Pen from Black to Blue. Not to tell about the drinks that i used to have., That too changed from the likes of DSP Blacks and Whisky to WHITE RUM, GINN and VODKA (if not white, they looked plain) The Black Tea N Black Coffee (my favourite) to the regular milked tea and coffee :(, All for a cause..!
Man, the only irony that stands still at the moment is..., I'm only in the shades of grey, Nothing ever changed from the black to white, in the meantime, the GF found a white for herself and the after effects of transformation left me totally grey.
See ya!!
Luv,
Dhinu!
After a long time...
After a long time is because, i dont see myself having posted any blogs off late., that maybe coz, i did not have much to tell the world or even otherwise, all work no play has made this jack a dull boy! So today (to-die) i am forcefully taking some time off from work to blog out something.., as u read., If its on my mind, its in here....
What happens, when your mind is empty ? (Choose the appropriate)
a) An Ideal Mind is the devils workshop
b) Your Mind is never empty
c) A treat to destiny.
Basically, I would go with none of the above options and rather answer this as "You've got a beautiful mind". When your mind is at the least, you've just got a beautiful mind. And probably thats the reason why we love kids and ya, we love puppies too..
First things first.., I found a red nosed guy, found amusing walked upto him and asked.., Dude., wats up wid ur nose., Why is it so red ? Naturally gifted kya ? he replied, Bike chalata hoon... I was like... SO ?? Helmet Pehanta hoon.... Haan.., Compulsary hai.... Tho ?? abbe saale... sabb sunega kya ?? Helmet ka flap bhi daltha hoon... Uff..... Bechara red nosed reindeer.... I thought!!!
One fine day, the socialist in me popped out and said to my collegues who drives and rides "Doston.., We try not to honk tommorrow.., It would decrease the noise pollution... Waise bhi.. Tr. Margaret ne sikaya tha... ONE GOOD DEED A DAY, MAKES A GOOD DAY.. " Cool.., great initiative.. said one of them, I was wider by chest for 1/2 an inch (after a lot of effort) and the next day, one driver comes up and say.., I'm sorry dudes and dudiya, i cudn't just hold it.. HOLD WHAT ?? abt the honks yaar..., itne saare potholes hai.., I cudn't just stop honking at it.. :)
The other day, my friends were all rushing to the medical shop to get a N95. N95 medicals mein.. Zamana kaafi raftaar mein hai... i thought!! The next day, there was a state get 2gether and a N95 union was made... Maaf karna... that happend in Kerala. Now, the last among the least i observed was..., a person with a bad breath would have to tell u the most of secrets in the world.
C ya.,
Luv/Dhinu!
What happens, when your mind is empty ? (Choose the appropriate)
a) An Ideal Mind is the devils workshop
b) Your Mind is never empty
c) A treat to destiny.
Basically, I would go with none of the above options and rather answer this as "You've got a beautiful mind". When your mind is at the least, you've just got a beautiful mind. And probably thats the reason why we love kids and ya, we love puppies too..
First things first.., I found a red nosed guy, found amusing walked upto him and asked.., Dude., wats up wid ur nose., Why is it so red ? Naturally gifted kya ? he replied, Bike chalata hoon... I was like... SO ?? Helmet Pehanta hoon.... Haan.., Compulsary hai.... Tho ?? abbe saale... sabb sunega kya ?? Helmet ka flap bhi daltha hoon... Uff..... Bechara red nosed reindeer.... I thought!!!
One fine day, the socialist in me popped out and said to my collegues who drives and rides "Doston.., We try not to honk tommorrow.., It would decrease the noise pollution... Waise bhi.. Tr. Margaret ne sikaya tha... ONE GOOD DEED A DAY, MAKES A GOOD DAY.. " Cool.., great initiative.. said one of them, I was wider by chest for 1/2 an inch (after a lot of effort) and the next day, one driver comes up and say.., I'm sorry dudes and dudiya, i cudn't just hold it.. HOLD WHAT ?? abt the honks yaar..., itne saare potholes hai.., I cudn't just stop honking at it.. :)
The other day, my friends were all rushing to the medical shop to get a N95. N95 medicals mein.. Zamana kaafi raftaar mein hai... i thought!! The next day, there was a state get 2gether and a N95 union was made... Maaf karna... that happend in Kerala. Now, the last among the least i observed was..., a person with a bad breath would have to tell u the most of secrets in the world.
C ya.,
Luv/Dhinu!
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