Topsyturvey World

What do u do when you when your hearts desire for an ice-cream ? Hmm.. Just walk out to the nearest Baskin Robins or Naturals or even think about not a dedicated ice-cream shop like KFC or a Mac Dy!. Parr, Ab sasura... There is no dedication anywhere.

This weekend, I was longing to hear & see some music, and with the remote in my hand, was pressing the button to find M TV. This was supposed to be Music Television And what do i see... Few Kudiya and mundas revolving around each other spending life together in a so called Splits Villa. Yaar.., yeh splits villa kya hai ?? and the oneliner comes as "Where Love is War.."

Welcome to the ditching world, Here all gals and guys pretend to be in love and caring for each other, but have to once upon a time take decision on dumping each other and firing them off. I am just thinking about this, these kudiyas and mundas are well within 20-25 age range and dont know when are they attending college and work to spend time in all these villas doing nothing than chatofying each other's dimaag.

Evening 7pm, i seen all my room mates coming together to watch Roadies, Saala, yeh bhi M TV pe, and that too letting off go the current IPL. Whats up with roadies ? It seems few hot men and women, would be fighting down to all to become a roadie. With all the badwords from 2 baldies who boasts about god knows what ? Probably about the fact that there is absolutely no hair growth on head & travel in the local trains of mumbai to hear innovative badwords and also a walk down the ulhasnagar, to hear, kaun kiska baap tha....

The other amazement came when an ad came out saying, all hot gals would be missing, rather words, they need 20 chicks who would be travelling around the world in "The Fast & Gorgeous", Where have all the hot gals gone ? Abb kya batau, hot gals dekhne ke liya Formula 1 jaana padega., Yaha tho harr formulae fail ho rahe hai... aur tum Formula 1 ki baat karr rahe ho? Mere M Tv ke bai bhandu, apna channel ka naam change karr ddo.. "Reality Tv" should be ideal. Aur waise bhi, tum log music telecast karte ho, if there would be time away from Roadies, Splits Villa & Fast and Gorgeous..!!

Abb uss din ki baat hi le lo, woh extra innings ki Mandira Bedi, She walked out to the IPL match with towel wrapped around, seems like straight out from shower, naa, maybe straight out from sleep, she wasn't looking fresh from a shower anyway.!! Hum tho soch mein padd gaye the.., is this Cricket game show ya phir Fashion TV ?

Abb iss duniya, gol ghoomte ghoomte, has started feeling giddy, isiliye sabb ulta fulta ho raha hai. Moms often gets a culture shock when her pyaara puttar says, "Mamma, meri shaadi.. meri GF, John se karwa ddo....." Kyon nahi puttar, John nahi tho Abbey Shake Sahi... :-)

Aaj kal, log kaafi creative ho gaye hai., There was a little glitch between us friends about who is going to pay for the treat tonite, All the M Tv fans came up with an Idea, Yeap, Lets go to vote, Whoever wins the vote, has an option to decide, who is going to pay for the treat. Sahi hai beedu!

Abb bacha kya hai ? Poll Dance is still on, I hope duniya ko itni bhi gidiness na aaye ki.., Advani ko Congress ka leader bana de!! Something like IPL Bidding.


IPL - its all about money, honey!

IPL also called as Indian Paisa League

Figure Facts..
Kevin Pieterson @ IPL2 = 1.5 m$ (Rs. 7.5 Crores for 2 Years)
No. Of Games played at IPL last season per team = 16 (Incase they reached finals) x 2 (years)
Cost Per Match = Rs. 7.5 Cr/32 games = Rs. 23,43,750.

Dhoni @ IPL = 6 Crores for 3 years.
Cost / Match = 12.5 Lks (Just 55% of what KP is earning, Total Loser).

Mr. Chidambaram is already finger licking., Just imagine the tax that he is going to collect on these players ? In other words., Are they really going to be pay taxes ? Thats because Indian Premier League is not being played in India, But in South Africa.

Now, I am not going to show my salary cut off and scare you with the amount that i pay about taxes.

Come next is sony, As we know there is a strategical break, 7.5 mins per innings, Needless to say, the batsmen make strategy on how to get out. So thats 15 mins of Additional advertising.

TRP, Ooops.. Sony of course does have a higher TRP, why would not guys like me take some extra time to watch Extra Innings to see (Mandira Bedi + Short Clothes) ? We also have our mouth wide open towards Post Cards from South Africa.

Adidas + Puma + Reebok = Merchandise Seller at 50% above the normal rate, Not talking too much about the patches with Spice and Nimboos and Odyssey on each of the player's back & arms.

In short..., Its all about money.... H O N E Y!!!

Horror : Re-Iterated

What happens when horror hits again ? Hmm... You would be able to cope up with it., because you have been through it before. Are you guys eyeing towards elections ? Nope. Its about a tamil movie whose hindi version hit the theatres between the busy schedule of IPL (International Premiere League or rather called as Items Premiere league). I'm talking about Dasavatharam / Dasavathar (Hindi) . All you tamilians who are reading this.. Just chill. Keep your ego to yourself till you complete reading this.

Luckily, I was in Chennai to witness all the drama when this movie was released. I was almost hit by the local tamilians when i opposed the movie. These guys were in my office and amazingly, my fellow collegues, did not even to try to save me. Well, Whats all about the movie ? Absolute commercial non-sense flick. Atleast there was no different view between few of my friends who seen this movie and intelligent ones gave this a skip. I had fallen for the hype and few of the reviews that my tamilian friend had to give me.

According to them, this was the master piece! Gosh, if only this is the master piece, Dr. Kamal Hassan has to be re-thinking about World Peace.. Well, what exactly was he trying to prove by portraying 10 different roles ? That too about the roles which hold no importance. He was acted as a 7 feet muslim guy, that was unnecessary, the old lady was unnecessary., for a scene or so, he has acted as Mr. George Bush. Absolute nonsense. This was not really necessary.

On a serious thought, I think the script wasn't written first. Firstly, he decided on the roles that he going to play which would complete "10"avtaars and then found a script which would suit into it. Now, to go with all the 10 roles and grab attention, he also included Tsunami, There was nothing more harder that hit chennai. Few of the movie supporters also said, Tsunami was a blessing in disguise... In that case... Do we really want to have another Tsunami ??

Well, the movie is to watched by hindi cinema audience to be commented on, I too shall watch it as it would be a language that i know, and possibly try to understand all the hidden facts (If at all there is any). Now, step away from the movie and lets walk upto the audience. As i said, I was in chennai, witnessing all the drama. As a part of my lonliness, I opted for the last show at Citi Centre, Chennai. The show began at 10pm and was to go on till 1 am. Amazing, I can push for some speed on my bike then... i thought.!

The first 15 mins, Intresting... Thats only if there was less fight., but being for the state that i am in, Fights and stunts were always in and around them. NO OFFENCE.!!! The movie went on smooth for another 1/2 hour or so, a true commercial flick with Mallika Sherawat around and few scene shot in US, If not for the movie, you could be happy with watching the scenes abroad.

Within no time, i found myself sitting with my hands on my head, Courtesy the movie and the guy who was seated behind me. He was typical tamlian, who was giving a running commentary and also giving some tips to Kamal Hassan on where to hit the guys. The innocence in that beeeeeeeep brought out swearing words from some guy!! Depressing non-sense are these movie halls when it comes to Tamil cinemas. That guy was for sure to be beaten up or atleast removed from the movie hall if this was in some other city.

I could no leave the movie hall in between as the city would be totally empty by that time, had to still wait with my head in my hands till 1 am. Torture at its best. Another friend, slept off during the movie, it seems that the best that he could do. Atleast to sleep in the movie hall for 3 long hours.

If at all, anyone who has seen the movie and understood what kamal was trying to say, please please do explain the concept!!

Awaiting your reviews.....

Vishu... For the lunch it was...

Vishu, Marks the beginning of a Malayalam new year, and accidentally, if not incidentally, I was celebrating it too. This incident quite reminds me of what my German boss had to ask us... "How many New Year Days do you have in a new year ?? ", I'd not quite managed to reply him then, But for now, my answer would be... "Mr. Pages, Welcome to India..."

The traditional way of starting the Vishu day, is by seeing the "Kanni", the first thing in the morning, followed by the elders giving the younger ones a token of gift in the form of money as "Kaineetam". Not to the surprise, I did not have a lender or a borrower, It would have been stupid of me to stand infront of the mirror and do this activity... :P, hence let that go.

Any Ocassion in this Malayalee hindu guy's calendar, would be starting off with going to the temple early morning, Vishu was no different ocassion for not to be visiting the temple and hence, Me woke up at 5 am in the morning, infact it was not so.... i acidentally woke up at 4.40 am and because of the warmth of the season, could not dose off.., hence in the morning hours decided that, i would start the day off by going to temple. Bingo!! the day got a jump start, without having to snooze the alarm, i woke up all by myself.

I was at the temple premises by 5.45am and it had the freshness of the morning beauty., Fresh flowers at the altar, most women wrapped in a white and golden border sari, little girls in white and golden border skirt/blouses and few men in the traditional Malayalee style.. Me as always was different, I was in a jeans and T Shirt (Outstanding people have "OUT"standing position).

The only thing that i dont like about visiting temple on an ocassion day is, the rush!! I can't pray in silence and above all, How many would gods listen to ?? Hence, I did not pray for much, (Even otherwise, my prayers are never answered, only then i am more than poor bank a/c wise). I made way for others who were behind me waiting in the que and luckily i'd got to see a well decorated "KANNI". For all those who dont know what KANNI Means, its a decoration with fruits, vegetables and flowers esp, the Konnapoo (biological name being Cassia fistula).

Soon, I was out of a the temple, where i seen a guy distrubuting pamplets.., It had a note saying that they were offering Vishu Sadhya (the noon meals) @ Kammanahalli with 21 types of curries including 2 types of payasam. Wow, My mouth already started watering and can make up for the little grief that i had not been at home for Vishu.

By then, i had already altered the days plan, I made up my mind to head for the office ASAP and leave office by noon, attend the sadhya and then be at home for the rest of the day. I rode back home, expecting a Tea to make up my morning, it was only 6.20 am and me was waiting at the only little Sai Sagar restaurant that opens at that time, but the scene there was totally different, the restaurant had just opened and the cook and the waiters there were just cleaning up, with a lot of buzz from the newspaper distribution guys all around.

The cashier said, it would take some time for the restaurant to be open and hence asked me to comeback after some time., So i headed to my room and left for office straight away. The day at office looked dull, who would be in office by 7.10 am in the morning, and that too in a office like mine, which starts off by 11.00 am!!, Checked my mails and got myself with a list of things in priority to be completed., luckily there was only 1 task which needed immediate attention. I made sure that it be done well in time before i leave. By 9.30 am, headed for a light breakfast in the Basement Tech Mall @ ITPL, wishing family and friends when walking up and down the office.
Time was ticking by and my friend checking out in between to know where are we heading for lunch, I gave the options of this Kamanahalli place, for which i had got a pamplet, but wasn't too sure as it was a good 20-22 kms drive on a bike in the scortching sun. Moreover, my friend had only 2 hours of permission. Hence, headed out to a restaurant close by!! Luckily, as there were just 2 of us, we immediately got a seat, ahead of people who had come in 8-10s. The lesson learnt... Dont take many people for a treat on an occassional day.

The little sadhya had finally started.... I was served different types of curries on a plantain leaf. It looked fresh and why not? We were sitting down at a restaurant called KAAYAL (The Lake). After a couple of rounds with serving & having most of the delicacies of kerala in the form of puliingi, avial, thorans and so on., It was now time to see what others are doing. Diagonally opposite to my table was a bunch of people sitting down and it was the centre point of attraction. On a day like Vishu, None really opt for Non-veg, during the sadhya atleast. There was a fish fry on that table, huh... not quite there..., I thought. Another surprise hit me when i heard a guy from that table shouting.., "Fork and Spoon Please.." huh.., Are there mallus who eat a sadhya with fork and spoon? Westernization.... what else ?? Or was me just hitting on the wrong end, What if they weren't mallus and were just trying out the sadhya, without knowing the significance of it ?

It was around 1/2 hour that the lunch had started and seen me sitting, already finished with the rice that the waiter had served me with and sipping my sambaram! Another waiter in hurry came upto me and asked, "Anything else sir ??".. How considerate... I thought., I smiled and replied... "Nothing...". He replied back..." Sir, Thank you, Could you please hurry up... There are people waiting..." I looked at him with all the expression that i could give.., that was more because the Sambaram (Buttermilk with green chillies & Ginger and so on) was so spicy. However, I hurriedly sipped it up and I was saying to myself, Maybe these guys found you the king of spice, only then they'd managed to put so many chillies in my butter milk.
So there i was... Almost celebrated the so called "Vishu". Finished off a heavy Sadhya, dropped my friend close to the office and headed back home and headed for a 2 hours nap. It was almost 5pm that i woke up after hearing the next room's person knocking on my room's door to see who is around at an unusual time.

By then, it was time for me to forget that Vishu was already over, I would have to wait another 365 days for yet another day like this...

Wishing all a belated Vishu!!
Lots of Luv,

No country for old man....

Vote.... Or Shut Up for the next 5 years.

No country for OLD Men...Seems to be the name of an Awaring winning movie, but, Knock knock., you are in India., and Country of Old Men should not be something new to us. We are almost at another verge of handing ourselves to the OLD MEN (Most Uneducated), With a super solid criminal background, who are obese, needs more of sick leaves than annual leaves to rule us.. Yes, Rule us for the next 5 years.

I guess many like me., staying far away from their home town, where they have their voting right, wont be able to make it. Hmm... With the total movement of IT/ITES people across the country, it has become a big issue with the polling and elections, which strangely, none has realised. This time (even with the polls to come)., We are anyways going to be 30%-40% less of voters and these are the voters whose result should actually count.

The reason : Well Educated ones, are responsible enough ones and can put a lateral thinking into what good or bad can be done for the country.

Another 5-10% would have office to attend that day and out of the remaining 50% (Approx), 10% wont go to vote for their laziness and to hide away from the scortching sun.

The Result : We are going to be ruled by a set of people whom, 40% of population voted, another 30% of them under pressure and fear from politicians and the gunda gardi that they have. A mere 1% would be on election duty and luckily their "Vote by Post" may count.

Whats an idea to tackle all this... This is way too out of possibly applying it..

Like almost everyone has Email ID's, We should be having a unique ID to vote too....(I am not sure, if the voting identity card has it). If they can't physically come, they can either Post the Vote, SMS the Vote or email the vote to a specific ID, along with the Unique ID. Sounds too big of a deal, but then, we have been seeing all these kind of voting formats in our reality shows. Can this idea not be made common for a good cause ?

I'm sure, this would be too too tedious task to implement, But strangely, till the time, this kind of system is implemented, We are for sure not going to have a sample data to count on. We would be missing votes of the better best in the country...

Hence, it remains..."THE COUNTRY OF OLD MAN..." sorry about the title above.

Rakhi Sawant Copied me.....

Not quite sure if the queen of nautanki read my blog
She wants a reality show it seems, thats after reading my post... Seems like there is some atoot bandhan between me and Rakhi, I made use of her name in my previous blog too...


When Kamdev went for a toss.....

Disclaimer : DIL PE MAT LE YAAR.

Not too long ago, was our Kamdev keen on the heavenly dances performed by Urvashi, Ramba and other competitors in the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven has become the boredom of gods. They are now thinking about an "Out of Box" idea. I heard they've taken off to a an interesting place called "The Earth".

The plan : Have a reality show for replacing Urvashis and Rambas of our coutyard, They're still stuck the classical indian dances, when Rap, Salsa and so on are hot in the Market. Beyond the ozone and cosmos layer lies a flight which is decending, 100 1000 feet per minute. The Destination is the Americas (Including Terminator, All of them have managed to land there..) Seems like thats the gateway to Earth. Now, The reality show is unreal, thats because of their heavenly vision towards the earth, Thanks to the view point, needing no extra dollars for a view.

The landing : Straight to Beyonce Knowles home at Houston, TX, Thats for her dance in the US number-one single "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)". Kamdev tried his level best to console Beyonce to fit in for this position., but she wouldn't agree as she doesn't want to be in an Indian heaven, although given the highest regarded post as the one Urvashi was holding... Her take was, I dont know if there's a quota system in those areas too.....

Kamdev, although disappointed never wanted to give up, Wasn't too happy with what Beyonce had to give and hence thought... " Hell with Beyonce, I am afraid about the rest of the list too., as it all seems to be videshi... I shall try it in my home town... ". Took the next available flight from New York - Mumbai (The land of bollywood).. There are few short listed here too.., Aish, Shilpa Shetty, Rakhi Sawant, Sameera are top headed ones... So decided to visit one by one...

Aish to Kamdev: Dont u think, you'd be commiting a crime to take me with you to heavens so soon, I'm just married. Kamdev in return.... I leave you.

Shilpa : Its not even been an anniversary that Raj has gifted me "Rajasthan Royals"... Spare me pls.... Kamdev's heart melted for her too...

Rakhi.. : Kamdev was afraid to ask her..., He gave that a skip...
Sameera : For the intelligent gal that she is (Race, the proof) Yamraaj would be soo tired to come down on his self driven vehicle, In other words, You can come down to our Filimistan, whenever you want and watch enough dances.

Shoot, this case seems to be one like the IT companies before recession, They were in need of candidates all the time.

Kamdev, finally made up his mind to stay back and shall be having all his heavenly dances here. As days passed by, he started getting bored.. Thanks to Farah Khan and Shaimak Davar. They've a lot to train and moreover with these directors who always yelled out "CUT". Our man needed uninterrupted masti, It should be a treat for eyes and thus decided to use the latest technology (the internet) to get his bakt's view about what should be done...

Amazingly the turn out was poor, But thanks to the witty ones, which were very much a reply to the post on his message board. Someone requested him to fly to South Africa in the mid-april. Also, the post owner booked him match and flight tickets... both in the front row.

Not to the surprise, our man was seated right in the front row, right behind where the cheerleaders were dancing., "hmm.... Bakt... Hum kush hue... " I never ever knew such a thing exist, We hardly follow any cricket at heaven" was the reply to the forum.

Now, our bakt wanted to be more impressive, expecting a "Exceed Expectation" rating in his annual appraisal, Replied to the post... "Guruji... I've an idea for you... Why dont you visit us every April, There would be IPL's and with the blessing of Vijay Mallaya, There would be enough cheerleaders on and off...."

With the 100 million pounds idea at the back of his mind, Kamdev returned to heavens to get back his gang to visit the earth during this mid-April. In between all that, this is what happend...

It was "Luck By Chance" that this post was also visited by another bakt, that was in the form of Lalit Modi, He is a big fan of this god., Dont we remember the IPL Shots of him sticking to Preity ? However, Lalit too wants to impress the gods and expect a "EE" in his annual appraisal, hence he gave the ultimate of option to kamdev....

"Lets go for the toss......."

Till Next time,


Cricket or Business ??

Everyone would agree with me on their children's future, If I were to give them only options of being a politician or a cricketer. Why not, These two careers are hot in the market and much more at the headlines of every news paper these days.

This morning there was a news reading, our T20 game would be a 10 more longer minutes than the usual 3 hours flat., The reason, There are commercial breaks included for 10 more minutes, Which means, SRK would be repeating, "Wish karo... Dish Karo" for few more minutes, Maybe Shilpa Shetty would have to dance few more times for Rajasthan Royals Promos and Few More Pepsi and Coke ads would make more cricketers work out. This stint is all to fetch the broadcaster nearly $5 million, on the other hand, Cricket as a sport loses. This means, Shaun Marsh would have to hold his emotion of daring to go black and blue and "THE BALAJIs" may have to wait 10 mins to take his Hattrick.

A Simple Calculation
Total No. Of matches Played in 2008

59 x 10 (mins) = 590 Mins (9.8 Hrs),
3 more games could have been watched during the ads time.
3 Bollywood Movies could have been played at the multiplexes.
Approx 10 Hours of unnecessary electricity could have been saved.

Off late, Sony, the official broadcasters for the ongoing India - NZ series asked ICC if they could schedule the match late at NZ, so that there would be many more viewers glued to their Television sets early morning, this resulting to a higher TRP.

Wonder, why are so many business buff's into IPL ? Wonder, why is "INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE" being played at South Africa? (sounds funny) . Why are cheerleaders brought to the playground, Cricket was played for years and years together, not to find much of change, All of a sudden, so much of change brings too little to the wellness of the game.

Let me not forget the little PAA-Ji (Kapil), His brain behind ICL was probably the Door to Money Minting for ICC.

Be whatever, We all follow what the world follows, so dont think much, Just enjoy IPL 2009.

I'm in for MUMBAI INDIANS minus Sachin Tendulkar.