The Unconditional "WHERE" clause..!

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It blew me off.. i never knew the analaytic me would be such puffed when it comes to writing a simple silly query of my life.. The query was supposed to look like this..

Q:> select top 1 from ALL_BRIDES_DB

But i made some joins viz...

INNER JOIN :
Q:> inner joined my family,

OUTER JOIN:
Q:> agreed to outer join my friends.

SELF JOIN:
Q:> agreed to SELF JOIN TO THE BRIDES FAMILY, SELF UNJOIN from boose, smoke, and mouth watching :'( From neta to abi neta, who doesn't make promises ?

CROSS JOIN:
Q:> cross joined again to tell the world, i am straight (NOT Sec 377 Comptabile)...

and there was a Where condition.... (as suggested by me).
Q:> Where BRIDESDADS_BANK_AC > SLUMDOG_MILLIONAIRE
Q:> AND CAR_OF_BRIDE atleast a ('BMW','HONDA') OR NOTHING LESS THAN A ('SUV')
Q:> AND KG_OF_GOLD > Count(Sachin's Century) in kgs.

When this query was executed, As expected, the results were to be counted on the fingers, But there was a subquery written by the result achieved...

Q:> SELECT GROOM WHOSE FATHER IS ('BIRLA','TATA','RELIANCE','D GANG',
..... AND THE LIST WENT ON...

But unlike other query editors, It gave a list of 'CLOSE MATCHES', those brides were all in ghoongat, cover their head with saree tip...

But now that i had almost found an answer to my reply to the TOP 1 BRIDE MINUS THE BANK BALANCES AND THE CAR, were there many more conditions added by the INNER JOINED PEOPLE....

a) Groom's Mother - She should be able to do household work too
Q:> AND BRIDE ALSO 'A DIGNIFIED COOK'

b) Groom's 1 Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS BOTH HER PARENTS

c) Groom's 2nd Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS A GOVERNMENT JOB

That saga went on as they were sitting in a circle and passed many rounds of conditions, while i walked out...

I was sure that in this digital age, where marriages are not made in heaven, but happens over the internet, I was finding it even difficult to do a peer to peer network connection.... Blah.., the query that i executed would have not only returned ZERO results, but would also returned an error message... "TOO MANY CONDITIONS.... Your Query has been suspended..."

In the meantime, my friends has already discussed that, he is a idiot programmer., doesn't know to fine tune his query.! Such a loser..

On the other hand, i was already preparing another query..
Q:> Select OPTIONS from EASY_SUICIDE
Q:> WHERE PAINFUL = NULL


Till I find another query,

Luv,
Dhinu

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Me ROFL... :-)

See, if you want a partner like Angelina Jolie, you should be like Brad Pitt, right? :-P

Aur don't worry, tera number aayega!

Dhinu! said...

True sandy,

But then we often se langoor ke haath mein angoor... dont we ?

Luv, ME

The Virtual Creative Crack Pot said...

Dude..too many expectations in life...but this query of life cant be written in SQL

CookieCrumbsInc. said...

Lolz....:D Though they look like Greek swear words to me....

Dhinu! said...

@Pooja..,

Making possible the impossible is in human hands.., did anyone in life think about flying ?? so wonders do happen.!

Dhinu! said...

@ Priyanka,

Read the Disclaimer ? I know few like you would need help, hence tied up with a SQL Institute.!