The Unconditional "WHERE" clause..!

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It blew me off.. i never knew the analaytic me would be such puffed when it comes to writing a simple silly query of my life.. The query was supposed to look like this..

Q:> select top 1 from ALL_BRIDES_DB

But i made some joins viz...

INNER JOIN :
Q:> inner joined my family,

OUTER JOIN:
Q:> agreed to outer join my friends.

SELF JOIN:
Q:> agreed to SELF JOIN TO THE BRIDES FAMILY, SELF UNJOIN from boose, smoke, and mouth watching :'( From neta to abi neta, who doesn't make promises ?

CROSS JOIN:
Q:> cross joined again to tell the world, i am straight (NOT Sec 377 Comptabile)...

and there was a Where condition.... (as suggested by me).
Q:> Where BRIDESDADS_BANK_AC > SLUMDOG_MILLIONAIRE
Q:> AND CAR_OF_BRIDE atleast a ('BMW','HONDA') OR NOTHING LESS THAN A ('SUV')
Q:> AND KG_OF_GOLD > Count(Sachin's Century) in kgs.

When this query was executed, As expected, the results were to be counted on the fingers, But there was a subquery written by the result achieved...

Q:> SELECT GROOM WHOSE FATHER IS ('BIRLA','TATA','RELIANCE','D GANG',
..... AND THE LIST WENT ON...

But unlike other query editors, It gave a list of 'CLOSE MATCHES', those brides were all in ghoongat, cover their head with saree tip...

But now that i had almost found an answer to my reply to the TOP 1 BRIDE MINUS THE BANK BALANCES AND THE CAR, were there many more conditions added by the INNER JOINED PEOPLE....

a) Groom's Mother - She should be able to do household work too
Q:> AND BRIDE ALSO 'A DIGNIFIED COOK'

b) Groom's 1 Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS BOTH HER PARENTS

c) Groom's 2nd Relative.
Q:> AND BRIDE HAS A GOVERNMENT JOB

That saga went on as they were sitting in a circle and passed many rounds of conditions, while i walked out...

I was sure that in this digital age, where marriages are not made in heaven, but happens over the internet, I was finding it even difficult to do a peer to peer network connection.... Blah.., the query that i executed would have not only returned ZERO results, but would also returned an error message... "TOO MANY CONDITIONS.... Your Query has been suspended..."

In the meantime, my friends has already discussed that, he is a idiot programmer., doesn't know to fine tune his query.! Such a loser..

On the other hand, i was already preparing another query..
Q:> Select OPTIONS from EASY_SUICIDE
Q:> WHERE PAINFUL = NULL


Till I find another query,

Luv,
Dhinu

Color Dilemma!!

These Colors are so great, it help visualise. I can only relate to blood and danger when it comes to the color red and green to nature and pakistani flag color. The firm that i work says, nothing here has got shades of grey, everything is either black or white! Thankfully, i am no colour blind too.

Just incase, you happend to list down your favourite colors. Black and White had a prejudice. i'm seriously sick of the differentiation. Last week, I was chatting with one of my friend and he said, he hates MONDAY, i asked him, who loves it anyways, asks the students too, they too wont like it unless its a public holiday! My ABCD (Amercian born confused Desi's) are even more smarter, they'd actually made a racial remark by hating mondays and also by calling the dark ones there as a MONDAY!.

Cool, Just in case, if this was nothing, I was differentiated in my own country, here its not black and white, but its north and south. Unfortunately, All southies are Madrasis, regardless of being from Kerala, Karnataka, AP or Tamil Nadu. I read comments of few fellow bloggers, who also divided the cricket team into south and north. Wow, Racism at its best, But between them too, I hung out in the shades of grey. I am a mumbaikar, I am south indian for the northies and Northy for the southies. I feel like our own DHOBI KA KUTTA.. NA GHAR KA... NA GHAT KA.

In between all these, i proposed to my GF. Shoot, it all came trembling down, when she had to speak about color too..., Seems like, its not the issue with her, but with her dad. Her dad wants a white groom! aah.., he wants a white groom, not a fair one, I'm still in for it i thought!. This issue had to be fixed, did not seem to be quite be a challenge anyways. That is because, I'd seen John Abraham's Ad for Garnier to become WHITE, and unintentionally in a BLACK squeeze tube.

Down the line, I seen many changes in me. Everything in the process of getting to the WHITE from the BLACK. The Deo Spray, The Pen from Black to Blue. Not to tell about the drinks that i used to have., That too changed from the likes of DSP Blacks and Whisky to WHITE RUM, GINN and VODKA (if not white, they looked plain) The Black Tea N Black Coffee (my favourite) to the regular milked tea and coffee :(, All for a cause..!

Man, the only irony that stands still at the moment is..., I'm only in the shades of grey, Nothing ever changed from the black to white, in the meantime, the GF found a white for herself and the after effects of transformation left me totally grey.

See ya!!

Luv,
Dhinu!