Wireless Communication....

Oops... seems like am still answering my papers..., Yes, This was a topic that i could be tested upon. Nevertheless, we are so familiar with this word now, We are in the e-age.... isn't it ?

My eyes caught a gentle lady, totally decorated (alias for makeup) Wearing a black skirt, red top, looking straight into my eyes and saying "Damn, You're the most insane creature on earth", I asked her, "how the hell did you know about it..., its just between my friends", when she once again adjusted her bluetooth to repeat the same words again.

What would have been my mistake, even if i were to get mad at her, and for that reason, even slap her ? She was on a Wireless Communication Mode. Hmm.., The worlds like Effective Communication and stuff are far far away now, I even see corporate rolling out Communication Etiquette. The Do's and Dont's when on a call etc etc., This was not how it was before, We could hear people scream at the top of their voice on a STD call and make sure that they called up STD calls only in the night hours.

Well, Lets have a snapshot on how communication used to be...
1800 AD : Probably the age of Tarzan, The Communication used to be understood in waves and frequencies. All of their sounds carried different meaning.

1980's : Much matured, Phones were wired, but hardly made any use, as it is, there were not much people with phone to call. That made mom's to scream "Bablooo" and "Chintooo" to get their kids back home after their evening play time.

1990s : BSNL/MTNL (Mera Telephone Nahi Lagta) was much more in picture, when they had enough telephone lines rolled out.

Late 90's Early 2000 : BF to his Gal...
a. When I start from home, I shall buzz you thrice.
b. When i reach the nukkad of the building, I shall buzz you twice.,
c. Dead Line for the gal to shoo off any guys who had been revolving/rotating beside her... I shall give you a single ring when i am down your building.

Off Late : None of them have the patience to buzz one/two or one and half even, People have even forgot "hi", "hello", "how r u", Often.. The call starts of with "Bol".. Thanks to the Caller ID facility.

Tell you what, There are few instances, where we still switch back to the age of tarzan, Oh yes, I experienced it myself for minutes before boarding a bus to Bangalore last weekend.

A local man at Guruvayoor bus stop @ kerala, In the best of FORM that he could be, shouting at the top of his voice to raise his concern about what Guruvayoor needs the most..... Hmm.., being not being a native of this place, I did not know how badly is it required there....

But his ONLY demand was....
TO MAKE URINARY FOR LADIES AT THE BUS STATION........

Thanks to Wireless Communication, If not the authorities, At least people waiting at the bus stop could hear him, LOUD and CLEAR

Yeh Kaisi Zindagi.

Epilogue :-
This blog is dedicated to all my friends who are married, and also to their wives who are defenitely married ;). This blogs reaches out to all uncles, aunties and not to forget my friends who are soon going to be married.

Also, A special note of thanks to my friend., who inspired me to turn out my idea into blogs., The worst of her , triggered close to the best of me.

Disclaimer :-
This is Imaginary, Any resemblance to the dead or alive is truly fictional /coincidental....

Wife : Aaji Sunte ho... Zara mera watch drawer se nikaal dena please.., I'm running late honey....
Husband : Not bad..., My bus comes earlier than yours and you are running late, God help.., Anyways here it is., Mein chalta hoon... Shaam ko milte hai sweety....

(On the way from the bedroom to the drawing room, He has a snapshot of his day, Market Watch, Cricket Match, Boss ki Secretary kiss color ka skirt pehni hogi.. etc etc.. )

The Scene at the drawing hall... (Mom, MIL Wife ki.., Sitting in the drawing hall, browsing through the news paper...)

Husband : Maa ji.. Aashirwaad ddo, Office jaa raha hoon., Hope ki company bus miss naa ho jaye....

Maaji : Very Filmi (Thanks to the soaps on Star Plus), Jeete raho puttar.... Worry not, Maa ka aashirwad hamesha tumhare saath hai..... Waise tumhara shirt itna crumpled kyon hai ?

Husband : Maa.. Iron karne time nahi mila.... Abb bass theek hai.... Mein chalta hoon...
(Husband says alvida and off he goes to board his 7.20 am shuttle).


The scene.... Mother In Law is still browsing through the newspaper when Bahu comes out, Bahu is all fuming with anger over many things..., but unlike her frustration, she is still dressed in the best of her business executive formals, Wearing a hard red lipstick, and getting her handbag organised by stuffing her lipstick, ID card, comb, mirror and tissues (Those thinking otherwise,.. give a break), I meant facial tissues.

Maaji : Bahu....
Bahu : (Whispers) Shits (Dimag ka salad hua pada hai, aur yeh ek hai, jo kabhi peecha hi nahi chodthi..)... Ji Maaji..
Maaji : Aaj koi meeting hai kya ? Ghar lautthe late ho jaoge kya ?
Bahu : Ji haan maaji.., Aaj client side pe meeting hai.., parr 7 baje tak pahuch jaaongi...
Maaji : (Who was sitting with paper all these while, Puts the paper beside..) Beta.., Tumhare pati ka shirt dekha ? Ek dum crumpled tha.... Tum kuch karti kyon nahi ?
Bahu : (Pissed) Kya karu maa ji... Office ka kaam... Ghar ka kaaam... time hi nahi milta....
Maaji : (Upset) Beta, woh tumhara pati hai..., aur tum dyaan rakhna chahiye inn sabb cheezo ka !!
Bahu : Maaji.., itni busy rehti hoon ki muje time hi nahi milta... (sniffs)
Maaji (irritated) : Aise kaise keh sakti ho bahu... Mere bete ne tuje shaadi kiss liye kiya ?
Bahu (totally blown off) : Agar aise bahu hi chahiye thi.... tho maaji.. aapko bahu nahi.. naukraani rakh leni thi...
Maaji : Yeh kya jawab hua., tumhara responsibility hai... tumhe hi karni padegi....
(Hmm... The only thing thats standing out from the real life and soap is the background music)
Bahu : Mere paas time nahi hai.... Aap ko agar itni icha hai yeh sabb karne ki... tho aap unka shirt iron karr leti.....
Maaji (mann mein) : Itna rubab ?, Dekaati hoon shaam ko.... Waise bhi aaj maid ka chutti hai., mein dekti hoon baahu aaj kaise khana nahi banati hai...

Evening Scene :-
Our patidev is all tired returning from office to the warmth of home and the cuddleness of his one and only wife and the saaya of his beloved maaji exactly at 6.50 pm with a terrible headache, wanting a strong tea to drive away all the 'Takaan' that he mehsoosed at work.

Scene at the drawing room.

The big needle of the clock trying hard to reach 7, and maaji deep in prayers, not because she is having so much to pray, but to make sure that bahu starts cooking as soon as she comes in at 7 pm.

Patidev uses his spare key to open the door from outside., What he finds inside is, the dog has messed up, Newspaper scattered all around the drawing room and the floor is just untidy, when he remembers..., "Shit.. the maid didn't turn up today..."

Nevermind, Dont bother mom, and he starts collecting the newspaper and arranging them, cleans up the dogs mess and heads for a shower, Wishing to have a hot strong chai but ended up nowhere, now his wait is for dinner at 9, Watch TV & Chit chat with the family and off to bed at 10 pm., Schedule seems workable.

Suddenly a voice from nowhere...,
Maaji : Beta....,
Beta : Haan Maa Ji...
Maa : Tum bahu ko samjaathe kyon nahi ? Usse kaho, woh maid se sirf ghar saaf karaye, aur khana woh khud hi banaye.
Beta : Ji Maaji (Still unaware of what happend between saas and bahu in the morning)
Maa : Bahu tho.....
Beta (Interrupts) : Maa... mein naha karr aata hoon....

Maa has got things on her nerves now, Dekha, Pehle woh mera saara baat, baitkar sunta tha, abb uske paas apne maa ke liye bilkul waqt nahi hai... Bass.., Biwi ke pallu ka saaya kya mila, Maa daa laadla poori tarah bigad gaya.....

Patidev, After his power is almost over, checks in for a shower, comes out fresh (charged), but not charged enough to see the bed and not lie for a moment, so he unwantedly crashes and dozes off... Just as he was about to catch sleep, he wakes up, sees the time, it was 8.45pm and rushes to the drawing hall, Mom is still praying and our patidev is perplexed, Mom suchmuch itni der se pray karr rahi thi ?

Patidev aka beta (Confused) : Maa.., aap ko ho kya gaya? tabb se pray karr rahi ho ? Ghar pe sabb teek thaak tho hai naa ?
Maa : Mere se baat matt kar nalayak, mein thodi der pehle bedroom aaya tha, aur tu sone ki natak karr raha tha...
Patidev (Still confused) : Maa... mein sachmuch so gaya..., bass bahut takaan thi...

This is the exact moment when Bahu checks in...., She has had her dinner outside when she went on a client visit and our maataji is fasting, she drinks only milk in the night and our Patidev-Beta is HUNGRY....

Maaji : Bahu, Yeh koi waqt hai..., tum tho 7 baje aane waali thi na? (She's concerned about the time that she started off with her prayers and unfortunately had to stretch THIS long....)

Bahu: (looks @ patidev) Hello Ji.... (turns face towards Maaji) and says.. Maaji.., thodi si late ho gayi thi..., Socha aapne unke liye khana banaya hoga aur mein bahar se dinner karke aayi...

Maaji : Tum hi tho kehti thi ghar pe busy rehti tho..., Tho socha khana tum aakar bana logi..

Patidev (mann mein...). Shits.., Aaj bhi bhooka sona padega.... :'(. He had had enough of it now and knows that he is soon going to experience another episode of Saas-Bahu war, doesn't utter a word and goes back to the bed room...

In the fights of hers, Its just me who loses. Its only me who gets sandwiched.

I hope raat ko atleast biwi, muje diet karwake, bhooka nahi sulayegi........


Note :- This note was a part of Deja Vu that i had when thinking abt life after marriage.

Wings to Fly, Aiming high!!

This is the mind of a school going kid., he never wants to go to school because he feels going to work is much more easier, He would not have to give exams, nor study, nor wear a uniform and not last but the least, earn money :-) Anyone of you haven't thought in your school days, do post a comments, if at all, i can't slap you for lieing, I'll make sure, I'll abuse you through words.



Mind of a college going student is a little different. Thanks to Bollywood, all of the movies revolves around romance and love and also depict youngsters getting married and falling in love when in college itself. Luckily there are good enough malayalam movies, which are eye openers to the little enlightenment of these youngsters and also that 'Jawaani' never dies, Courtesy : Mohanlal, Mammooty, Suresh Gopi and Mukesh.

Whats going on through my mind us, Our human minds are always aiming for flying high, how about animals and what about birds who are literally flying high ? Good question... ain't it ? However, I feel, the river fish's ambition maybe to swim in the sea, A dog's ambition would be to guard a 100K Sq. Ft. Castle and a lion's ambition would be to hunt down a mighty elephant down, all alone.

Lets go back to these cases.., Do u think a river fish can ever swim in a sea ? I don't think so, because they're just designed to survive sweet water than the salty one, so what happens if they try it ? they break down. Whereas in the lion's case.., He can't really think of hunting down a tusker by himself, and if he is mistaken somewhere, you'd find the elps tusk right between his ribs.

Whats with us human? We go on and on and on, there is no limit, no boundary, I can think about being a crorepati (Proved in Ek Chaalis ki Last local) overnight. If only we're thinking about flying high, a 32K feet above the ground is fine enough, on a flight, surviving well between the clouds, even then, breathing and eating peacefully.

If at all these artificial stuff hadn't come to picture., how high could we fly ? There's a limit to even us flying, or to make that simple, there was a limit of a coconut tree., thats the maximum that a human can be off ground. By telling this, what am i really trying to convey ? Just that, many artificial stuff has come between human and nature just to destroy humanity. There was no global warming at the time of Adam and Eve. We weren't greedy at their time.

Although am sitting down on a place comforted with an A/c, working on one of the latest technology laptop, i am literally being felt that i am cheated, and also cheating my own self.

Between all this, I would atleast like to thank blogspot for helping me express what am i going through.


Luv,
Dhinu!

The eHuman!

I always wished that i woke up with the chirp of sparrows and sunlight almost visiting my innocent face from the open window, when i lie down flat on a white bedsheeted cot. The first ever thing that i wish to see from my window is what almost every 3rd standard kid draw, when asked to draw something.

Thats only a dream to be., where as, what do i see now ? Early in the morning, its not the sunlight that really awakens me, but the alaram clock. Sorry to say, Its not even the clock anymore, but the alarm feature on my cell phone..., Its difficult to wake up, and why wont it be? coz, you went to sleep last night switching your laptop off by 12.30 am. Hardly, 6 hours of sleep. Apart from the laziness to wake up, you also snooze your alarm on the cell every 5 minutes.

Off you go to freshen up, an Electric shaver in hand, Soap replaced with Shower gel. Most of us would be there, but soon those who aren't in this club would be here, using the same shower gel, hair gel and perfume and deo. Either sport a Levi's Jeans or get close with a Zodiac or Peter England, you are off to office on either one of the latest model of bikes or car or either more professionally stuck to the corporate bus crowd, which gives you a little more comfort to sleep.

All of us are virtual machines, either stuck to a cell phone or sleeping with our iPods on. I am probably jelous of the comfort that i get when comparing it to the generation before me. I hear the generation before us telling stories of the way they'd been to the mango and cashew nut field. The way they had to cross stream and river to reach school and how their windows opened to the paddy field.

I remember having had a good fall from the swing when playing in the park and how my legs used to be filled with mud on a rainy day, but these days, kids really do miss all this, my niece's playground is her bedroom, she even learned to ride the bicycle in her bedroom.

Where is this world going ? With the start of age of boosing & smoking coming down to the early teens to having white hairs at the age of 20 odd, the average life seems to be less, even less beyond the centuries scored by Sachin. Is there an end to this juggle of life ? Can we as human improve ?

I wonder how can we improve? Can this on going economy crisis get us back to living as human as we always were ? Would this be a blessing in disguise ? We would be finding an answer soon, as soon as in a year or two. This would decide, if we still got to remain a eHuman or probably change over into a LIVEFUL HUMAN. In the meanwhile, i would like to recommend what my daadi maa told me...

M E D I T A T E...

Not last the least, Wish you a happy and a prosperous holi. Go ahead and play holi, hopefully away from your computer screens.

Lots of Luv,
Dhinu!

Commercialization...

Who doesn't wanna fulfil their dreams and what do we not do to achieve it ? Right from backstabbing my colleague to even bribing the pandit at the temple.

I'd been to Guruvayoor recently. I try to keep away from the crowd as much as possible, but this was mom's offering (I've not managed to study her list so far). Am quite religious, Going to the temple don't excite me much, even if there's a lot of a female crowd, Com eon, Atleast there i would like to keep my eyes to the floor instead of hunting for butterflies.

Mom started with her daily chaos of trying to wake me up at as early as 6am on a saturday morning... Perhaps she forgot that, thats the only day i get to sleep for long, The other days of the week where i sleep for long is between breaks, Yes, From my home to the cab, cab to the office and office to the cafeteria is when most of our eyes manage to remain open, rest of the time, its either on the bed or on the office cubicle that we rest our eyes.

Temple Scene : Guruvayoor: Unarguably one of the richest, biggest and famous temple of kerala. Home to many oldies, Perfect location for all the film makers to shoot and probably where all women agrees to be having a single boy friend (Lord Krishna). So whats men's job there ?

I am asked to stand in a que, more than 4000 odd people waiting before me (Its unfortunately a less crowded part of the day) and just before my entry into the temple, i read a Board " MOBILE PHONES, NOT ALLOWED INSIDE THE TEMPLE PREMISES ", which is also read in "change the voice" style in different languages. I walk through a metal detector, where a security guy checks me. ( I wonder, what would i be carrying in one pocket of my shirt), are you thinking where my pants are ? Sorry, I wasn't wearing one, Rather i had to be dressed in the traditional dhoti. Yet the security guys, checked all the men of their thighs and butts (Saala Homo).
Mind you, this is the month of march and the time is around 9.30 am in the morning and i am still waiting behind approx 4K and the sun, seems even hotter than a mid-day sun at other parts of the world.

I was almost down and out and instead of shouting out Pepsi, Coke or mineral water, i asked mom if i can get some Sambaaram (buttermilk), mom looked and me and grinned..., "I wish i too could have some... " She said..

A wait was finally coming to an end, when the que started squeezing into the main temple area. "Krishnaaa... Guruvayooor appa.... " was being heard from all over, I heard it, but dont know if Lord Krishna did really manage to pay attention to each and everyone, however, i too called him within heart.., as it is, not many manage to hear me, my voices falling on deaf ears is nothing new, i wanted some hopes for these cries of mine not be fallen on deaf ears atleast.

In between all of these, there were security guards monitoring the lines and asking people to squeeze into every possible place that you find. No matter if u're waist size is 26 or 38. I was finally there, Right infront of the Nada (thats where the idol is kept), a blink of the eyes and it was all over. The wait of 2 hours in a line, empty stomach all ended in 2 seconds... Those securities there were pulling and pushing people as if i was the North and South pole of a same magnet.. T R A N S F O R M A T I O N man....

Could not do much about it, But i had to remember that there were 4K people ahead of me and probably another 8K behind me. Once i was out from the main temple area, I felt as if i came out from a dungeon. It was so suffocating inside. I'd to come and pray., " Thank you Bhagwan, Atleast you take that none of your devotees, run out of oxygen..."

Then it was all about getting prasadam.., Nothing extra ordinary, even if you go to any other temples, you'll have to pay and get prasadam. Little outside the temple, i also see another board "Now, Thirupathi in Kerala... " Amazing naa ? If i know geography well (i know that i dont have to travel from Bangalore to Goa Via Chennai), Thirupathi is somewhere in Andhra , Close to TN border, But how does this logic suffice ? In short, they'd have it more commercialised saying...
" Minting started in Kerala... Like in Andhra.." should be an equivalent to the board that i read.

I've not been to Thirupathi or Sabrimala, But i dont think it would be any different. I also heard that one has to take a token for getting a darshan at Thirupathi. Hmm.. We are quite used to bribing, to see the doctor, bribe the compounder, to see the officer, bribe the peon. So here too.. bribe the pandit and temple to see god. All is fair till there are sinners, like the one who is glued to this blog.

On the way back, I had a brief conversation with mom, "Why did you get me to this temple ? " Even after knowing that i try to keep away from crowded places and at times these kind of surrounding can also get me Asthma... Her reply was., some astro suggested her to take me there and pray, coz i have a lot of Doshams. Amused... ??

I was amused., some person told that i've a lot of doshams and he says it would be cured if i go and pray at Guruvayoor ? Surprising... isn't it ? I just got a little more curious and asked her what else have you offered ? She told me some 4-5 temple names. 3 of them in the surrounding and 1 was a little far away, probably another half a day's trip.

And there were a lot of pooja's to be performed in each of these temples ranging between 1K to 2K each temple., for a moment i was wondering.., does this astro gets a commission from these temples? coz, he always asked mom to take a receipt of poojas that has to be performed and give the slip to the pandit there and it would be taken care of.

For a person who lives in a city and close to all the good word in the world like Recession, Business, Commission, Economy and so on, It does look like commercialization in the name of god. The Astro gets his commission from temple, The temple would be giving out bulk order to these offerings suppliers (incense sticks, oil, lamp) etc.

In another instance, the same astro had asked to conduct a weekly offering for almost 21 weeks in 3 times, which makes it 21 x 3 (63 weeks, Almost 16 months, which is 1 year+) .

And guess what...., I guess all these are tax free. :-)

Is it just that people are getting more dumb, or is it just the temples are pandits are getting smarter or on the other hand, are the listof sinners increasing ?

Whatever be the case.... Its commercialization in silence....

Help yourself by destroying yourself

You'd be thinking that am a saddist and only then ending up with an heading as such.

Nope, am not giving you gyaan, but just pointing my view towards the attacks yesterday on the Sri Lankan team. In a way, ICC should be thanking the terrorist., they (ICC) now dont have to put thoughts to schedule the ICC mini world cup or not even think of world cup 2011 at Pakistan.

I feel so sorry for the Lankan team, Wish all the injured players a very speedy recovery.

What has exactly yesterday's terrorist attack to prove...

Playing Cricket is Un-Islamic. (No idea, under which section, or Fatwa) How come the terrorist have had an alarm clock ringing at the back of their head as soon as 100 years of cricket and more than 50 years of Pakistani cricket ?

I feel otherwise., we seen that the terrorist had missile launchers during the attack yesterday, if so, how come they just fired once and it was missed ? and we can very well understand the consequence of a missile hitting a bus. This was all done very intentionally, that is to draw off attention from the ongoing debate about the 26/11 attacks.

Pakistan wants to prove to the world that, we are equal victims of terrorism and wanted to prove in a big way. This could not have been a better stage for them to prove it. Cricket is closely watched in the sub-continent, Nothing else can penetrate hearts of people other than attacks on the cricketers to forget 26/11.

I wonder why are they so inhuman, They've just to say that we are doing it for Muslims worldwide, for our peace and so on. I've only this to say...

"Bombing for Peace is like., F***ing for Virginity..."

Rgds....
ME

To whomso ever it may concern

"Let there be a moment,
When we share the same light & breath,
When we share the same moment,

Let there be a moment, where my eyes only find the depth of your beauty,
Let there be a moment, When i hear not a single word, apart from your silence.
When nothing alas comes in between me and you..,
Let the moment be special, Let it be at its best...."




This was ideally supposed to be for the best gal that i come across... In anycase, the best of gal who was supposed to be reading it, is reading it, Please excuse for making it public. There's a real lot in those lines, Can you guess, what was i talking about in the first 2 lines ? Well, I was talking about kissing my sweetheart., We could only share the same moment and same light when our eyes met, so close that, our lips too aren't away from each other.


How about the second one? any guesses ? I'll leave for you guys to comment. Come out with some creative ideas.


On a serious note, i put someone in a situation which was me opting her to choose between a kaak and a lakh. Amazingly, muje tho sirf kaak naseeb hua and usse, shayad lakh. I asked my little Cat (CAT is back) to stay or leave, But, kat fancies something else., Eveything fell on deaf ears and she parted. Nope, I asked her to part off.

So my belief of "After midnight, Morning would come..." accidentally happens to be fake so far, Is it a sort of night which doesn't have a morning at all ? Or is the wait for morning too long ? Hmm... maybe its just seeming to be long and me was running out of patience. Hence decided to break open the cocoon before it turned out to be a butterfly.

Well well, This is going hey wire, a boozed night was no different, I'd a similiar thought process.On thinking nothing, but trying to make sense by adding wrong words to mean something.

Basically, I wanted to confuse my readers... Please do bang your head against the wall and if at all if someone makes sense out of it..., please please please let me know...


Luv,
Dhinu!