Yeh Kaisi Zindagi.

Epilogue :-
This blog is dedicated to all my friends who are married, and also to their wives who are defenitely married ;). This blogs reaches out to all uncles, aunties and not to forget my friends who are soon going to be married.

Also, A special note of thanks to my friend., who inspired me to turn out my idea into blogs., The worst of her , triggered close to the best of me.

Disclaimer :-
This is Imaginary, Any resemblance to the dead or alive is truly fictional /coincidental....

Wife : Aaji Sunte ho... Zara mera watch drawer se nikaal dena please.., I'm running late honey....
Husband : Not bad..., My bus comes earlier than yours and you are running late, God help.., Anyways here it is., Mein chalta hoon... Shaam ko milte hai sweety....

(On the way from the bedroom to the drawing room, He has a snapshot of his day, Market Watch, Cricket Match, Boss ki Secretary kiss color ka skirt pehni hogi.. etc etc.. )

The Scene at the drawing hall... (Mom, MIL Wife ki.., Sitting in the drawing hall, browsing through the news paper...)

Husband : Maa ji.. Aashirwaad ddo, Office jaa raha hoon., Hope ki company bus miss naa ho jaye....

Maaji : Very Filmi (Thanks to the soaps on Star Plus), Jeete raho puttar.... Worry not, Maa ka aashirwad hamesha tumhare saath hai..... Waise tumhara shirt itna crumpled kyon hai ?

Husband : Maa.. Iron karne time nahi mila.... Abb bass theek hai.... Mein chalta hoon...
(Husband says alvida and off he goes to board his 7.20 am shuttle).


The scene.... Mother In Law is still browsing through the newspaper when Bahu comes out, Bahu is all fuming with anger over many things..., but unlike her frustration, she is still dressed in the best of her business executive formals, Wearing a hard red lipstick, and getting her handbag organised by stuffing her lipstick, ID card, comb, mirror and tissues (Those thinking otherwise,.. give a break), I meant facial tissues.

Maaji : Bahu....
Bahu : (Whispers) Shits (Dimag ka salad hua pada hai, aur yeh ek hai, jo kabhi peecha hi nahi chodthi..)... Ji Maaji..
Maaji : Aaj koi meeting hai kya ? Ghar lautthe late ho jaoge kya ?
Bahu : Ji haan maaji.., Aaj client side pe meeting hai.., parr 7 baje tak pahuch jaaongi...
Maaji : (Who was sitting with paper all these while, Puts the paper beside..) Beta.., Tumhare pati ka shirt dekha ? Ek dum crumpled tha.... Tum kuch karti kyon nahi ?
Bahu : (Pissed) Kya karu maa ji... Office ka kaam... Ghar ka kaaam... time hi nahi milta....
Maaji : (Upset) Beta, woh tumhara pati hai..., aur tum dyaan rakhna chahiye inn sabb cheezo ka !!
Bahu : Maaji.., itni busy rehti hoon ki muje time hi nahi milta... (sniffs)
Maaji (irritated) : Aise kaise keh sakti ho bahu... Mere bete ne tuje shaadi kiss liye kiya ?
Bahu (totally blown off) : Agar aise bahu hi chahiye thi.... tho maaji.. aapko bahu nahi.. naukraani rakh leni thi...
Maaji : Yeh kya jawab hua., tumhara responsibility hai... tumhe hi karni padegi....
(Hmm... The only thing thats standing out from the real life and soap is the background music)
Bahu : Mere paas time nahi hai.... Aap ko agar itni icha hai yeh sabb karne ki... tho aap unka shirt iron karr leti.....
Maaji (mann mein) : Itna rubab ?, Dekaati hoon shaam ko.... Waise bhi aaj maid ka chutti hai., mein dekti hoon baahu aaj kaise khana nahi banati hai...

Evening Scene :-
Our patidev is all tired returning from office to the warmth of home and the cuddleness of his one and only wife and the saaya of his beloved maaji exactly at 6.50 pm with a terrible headache, wanting a strong tea to drive away all the 'Takaan' that he mehsoosed at work.

Scene at the drawing room.

The big needle of the clock trying hard to reach 7, and maaji deep in prayers, not because she is having so much to pray, but to make sure that bahu starts cooking as soon as she comes in at 7 pm.

Patidev uses his spare key to open the door from outside., What he finds inside is, the dog has messed up, Newspaper scattered all around the drawing room and the floor is just untidy, when he remembers..., "Shit.. the maid didn't turn up today..."

Nevermind, Dont bother mom, and he starts collecting the newspaper and arranging them, cleans up the dogs mess and heads for a shower, Wishing to have a hot strong chai but ended up nowhere, now his wait is for dinner at 9, Watch TV & Chit chat with the family and off to bed at 10 pm., Schedule seems workable.

Suddenly a voice from nowhere...,
Maaji : Beta....,
Beta : Haan Maa Ji...
Maa : Tum bahu ko samjaathe kyon nahi ? Usse kaho, woh maid se sirf ghar saaf karaye, aur khana woh khud hi banaye.
Beta : Ji Maaji (Still unaware of what happend between saas and bahu in the morning)
Maa : Bahu tho.....
Beta (Interrupts) : Maa... mein naha karr aata hoon....

Maa has got things on her nerves now, Dekha, Pehle woh mera saara baat, baitkar sunta tha, abb uske paas apne maa ke liye bilkul waqt nahi hai... Bass.., Biwi ke pallu ka saaya kya mila, Maa daa laadla poori tarah bigad gaya.....

Patidev, After his power is almost over, checks in for a shower, comes out fresh (charged), but not charged enough to see the bed and not lie for a moment, so he unwantedly crashes and dozes off... Just as he was about to catch sleep, he wakes up, sees the time, it was 8.45pm and rushes to the drawing hall, Mom is still praying and our patidev is perplexed, Mom suchmuch itni der se pray karr rahi thi ?

Patidev aka beta (Confused) : Maa.., aap ko ho kya gaya? tabb se pray karr rahi ho ? Ghar pe sabb teek thaak tho hai naa ?
Maa : Mere se baat matt kar nalayak, mein thodi der pehle bedroom aaya tha, aur tu sone ki natak karr raha tha...
Patidev (Still confused) : Maa... mein sachmuch so gaya..., bass bahut takaan thi...

This is the exact moment when Bahu checks in...., She has had her dinner outside when she went on a client visit and our maataji is fasting, she drinks only milk in the night and our Patidev-Beta is HUNGRY....

Maaji : Bahu, Yeh koi waqt hai..., tum tho 7 baje aane waali thi na? (She's concerned about the time that she started off with her prayers and unfortunately had to stretch THIS long....)

Bahu: (looks @ patidev) Hello Ji.... (turns face towards Maaji) and says.. Maaji.., thodi si late ho gayi thi..., Socha aapne unke liye khana banaya hoga aur mein bahar se dinner karke aayi...

Maaji : Tum hi tho kehti thi ghar pe busy rehti tho..., Tho socha khana tum aakar bana logi..

Patidev (mann mein...). Shits.., Aaj bhi bhooka sona padega.... :'(. He had had enough of it now and knows that he is soon going to experience another episode of Saas-Bahu war, doesn't utter a word and goes back to the bed room...

In the fights of hers, Its just me who loses. Its only me who gets sandwiched.

I hope raat ko atleast biwi, muje diet karwake, bhooka nahi sulayegi........


Note :- This note was a part of Deja Vu that i had when thinking abt life after marriage.